| InterBoard Poetry Competition | |
SITTING IN WELDON KEES’ CAR
William Neumire
(The Writer’s Block)
On the darker wings of sunset
Are shadows in which the eyes lose sight;
There’s a bridge I have not crossed, yet
It threads its black line, an egret
Tracing across a Marsh’s dim light
On the darker wings of sunset.
Below, in the bay, trawlers let
The weather move them, but I recite:
“There’s a bridge I have not crossed yet”
In the visor shadow, the net
Of city bulbs perforating night.
On the darker wings of sunset
There are two camps now: one is wet
With need to tell, one leaves no insight.
There’s a bridge I have not crossed, yet
I’m here to move or to forget
The way erasure swallows, a rite
On the darker wings of sunset.
There’s a bridge I have not crossed. Yet.
Judge C.J. Sage’s comments: “Lastly, I’ve chosen to honor ‘Sitting in Weldon Kees[’] Car’ for the change-up usages of the refrains. Too often villanelle writers don’t stretch their refrains, don’t find new ways to use them with each new occurrence. In this villanelle, the poet makes the most out of them. Consider how differently each of these refrains means:
‘On the darker wings of sunset are shadows in which the eyes lose sight.’
‘There’s a bridge I have not crossed, yet it threads its black line...’
‘...an egret tracing across a Marsh’s dim light on the darker wings of sunset.’
‘There’s a bridge I have not crossed yet’ in the visor shadow...
‘On the darker wings of sunset there are two camps now...’
‘There’s a bridge I have not crossed, yet I’m here to move or to forget the way erasure swallows...’
‘..., a rite on the darker wings of sunset.’
‘There’s a bridge I have not crossed. Yet.’
While I longed for the poem to use fresher and more concrete phrases, still it deserves an honor for pushing the refrains to their limits. I wish all villanelle writers would strive to make better use of their refrains, as has this writer.”
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